weight obsession

Last few days I've been searching for and reading forums/blogs about obesity. I think I have a skewed body image after losing 20#. I didn't think I was fat at all, until I saw that pic of me in lycra on my first club ride. And now, I really obsess way too much over food. I'm ALWAYS hungry. I'm hovering at 110-113. I still have a middle-aged tummy. I think I'll be an apple unless I get it to 107-110. But my legs look like sticks. I like that my arms went thinner, but my legs don't look like they could get me up Cardiac. I had trouble Saturday riding over to Solano Lake. I had no power. Of course, I'm still not healthy, but bummer.

So I read blogs of obese people that also obsess about food. I worried that I had another late night meal. But then I realized that it had been 8 hours since I last ate.

breakfast: 1 piece of cinnamon toast
no snack
lunch: 1 cup cooked broccoli with dressing, one pumpkin muffin with walnuts
snack: toasted pumpkin seeds, maybe 20, while I cooked.
dinner: 2 bowls of chicken chow fun, with (gasp) Chinese sausage (lopchong sp?) (YUM!! loved it growing up, totally greasy and processed meat) Also, a banana/strawberry/blueberry/soy smoothie.
late dinner (ala Hobbit): salad with Romaine, tomato, Kimchi, dressing.


Meditated on Sunday. Got lots of hugs, saw Lyle, Mary Y, Helen, Becca and Ramin, Henry, Bill. Carey was there. The Bill T. who's posted said 'hello' to me. It was nice. No Prince though. Which is probably a good thing. I really want to try Miksang, but I'll have to wait until after retirement. Maybe take it before my tour, and travel with a light weight digital camera, and have a Miksang travel diary!

So anyway, since I'm logging, this is my weekly schedule:
M: Spinning class with Brenda, 6:00-7:00. Weight machines, 15 minutes. (I totally forgot tonight! I guess I needed time off...)
T: Tennis, 7:30-9:30 with Dennis, Steven, James, Kuay, Carey, Katy, myself
W: Tennis with Eileen, just rallying for an hour.
TH: Tennis, 7:30-9:30 with Dennis, Steven, James, Kuay, Carey, Katy, myself
F: spin class, 9:00 -10:00 with Kady. Weight machines, 15 minutes. Pig out on chips/dip/sweets/wine at 'Pool Club' shooting pool and hanging out with Sharon, Alan, Michael, Rick and sometimes Sue.
S: bike, 35-65 miles
Sun: meditate at Center, 9:00-10:00. Work at Birch from 10:30-1:00.

In the summer, I bike a whole lot more, and skip the gym. Usually, 100-130 miles a week. Next summer, I want to make Cantelow a regular thing, and take on Cardiac. Really.

Got lots of great sock yarn from Knitpicks! I finished socks for Chariot, Emp and HP. Almost done with Jessie's. Need to still knit:
Socks for Mom, Marie, Trish, Cheryl, Meg.
Scarves for Sloan, Anthony.
Arthur gets a gc for Amazon.

Need to start on Kanga/Snow's payment sample scarf.

Ack!